Catie had her surgery a week ago today. It was such an emotional day for everyone. I don't think we realized how much so until they came out of the operating room and told us that her hearing, with the tubes, was great and that she wouldn't need hearing aides. That's when I broke down. There had been so many unknowns and we finally had someone telling us something definitive.
The next few days we felt like we were severely hungover. I don't think we realized how much of a toll that not knowing and waiting had been taking on us. We were exhausted but eagerly watching Catie for signs of change. As she started progressing with little changes each day, we finally started to believe and really see that yes, we are on the right track. For months I had been fluctuating between all the different possible diagnosises one minute to "I know she's going to be fine" the next. I realized Tuesday that all those months, more than knowing she was going to be fine, I was hoping and reassuring myself that she would be. Tuesday a calm and confidence came over me, it's difficult to explain. I really knew, I felt it, I could see it... she is going to be more than fine. She is such a smart, loving, happy little girl... she just can't vocalize herself right now. But she will. We have seen some great little changes in her already, signs of progress.
The biggest changes we have seen are Catie is looking at people more now when they talk to her, interacting with people more and really enjoying it. These may seem small, but it's huge for us, and they are great first steps. Before it was like Catie didn't realize we were talking to her. It's amazing to think that for years she hasn't know we were talking to her. And how much she adapted to this world, not being able to understand us. She can communicate with us so well without using words. This is amazing to see how much she adapted, how well she communicates without words, and how happy she is. I feel like I would be so irritated and frustrated if I couldn't understand what was going on around me and if most people couldn't understand. Now it's like a light bulb turned on and she realizes we are communicating with her. There seems to be a different connection with her now with all of us, like she understands now, she gets it. It's difficult to explain but it's amazing to watch your daughters play together, the same as they use to, but something is just a little bit different. There is a different connection between them. It's amazing. There's nothing better.
Here is some more of the progress we've seen so far:
Friday:
Nonna pulled into the driveway, I pointed and said "Look, Nonna's here". She looked (which she never did before) and she walked to the door to greet her.
Saturday:
She was tired and ready for bed. I asked her "Are you ready for night-night?" she started walking to her room. (Awesome!) I said "Wait, go say night-night to Daddy. Kiss Daddy night-night". She walked out to the kitchen (Even more awesome!)
Sunday:
She and I went out to grab coffee. When we walked in the house she called out a definite greeting that sounded like a combination of hello and hola.
We were at the Discovery Museum and Catie and I were in the Tot Spot. I asked her if she wanted to go find Ginger and Daddy. She obviously stopped and thought about it, then ran all the way back to where we split from them. Then took my hand as we walked I kept saying "Where's Daddy? Where's Ginger?" She was saying their names and attempting to say "where". She ran up to them and was so excited to see them.
Monday:
At school she sat and played with two other kids. She never did this before. If she interacted with kids before, it was to take something from them!
When I picked her up from school, I had her on my hip and was talking to Auntie Sue, her teacher, and two mom's walked and greeted their kids at the door. Catie's back was to the door, but she turned to look at the interaction. Auntie Sue and I looked at each other and both said "She never would have noticed that before".
Tuesday:
We were getting ready for the gym and I said "Come on Catie, let's get dressed". She came in her room, turned her back to me so I could pick her up and put her on the changing table to change her diaper and get her dressed.
She had her first session with her home teacher since her surgery and she did better than she ever has. She interacted with her more and said or attempted more words.
Wednesday:
As we walked up to school, we saw Lisa and her daughter Nina. They said "Hi" to us and Catie responded "Hi". I looked at Lisa and said "That was Catie, wasn't it?!" She said "Yes, that was Catie!" I got tears in my eyes! Then Lisa talked to her some more and Catie looked at her. Lisa said "She never would have done that before!"
Catie had her first speech session with Doug since her surgery. He said he could hear her saying some soft sounds. This is incredible because Doug is the one who suggested we look into hearing loss more because he wasn't hearing her say any soft sounds.
Her new words since the surgery...
Hello
Hi
Key
Popcorn
Rabbit
Hop
Also, Papa mentioned that he thought her voice sounded different. Britt and I did too so we were happy to hear that he noticed too. Words she was saying before the surgery like Mommy, Daddy and Ginger, sound different too... clearer. It's all so awesome.
We know we have a long road ahead of us and each of these are baby steps. But we are so happy to see progress and know that we are only going to continue to see her continue this progress. We have all the time in the world, it's a journey not a race. And we are so grateful for all the support and help that she is receiving to continue on this journey and to continue making such great progress. We are also extremely grateful for all the love and support we have received from family and friends. That support is invaluable and we couldn't have made it through the past few months without.
